I’m going to let you in on a little secret: your genitals are not the only part of your body with the capacity for pleasure … Our entire bodies are designed for pleasure! There are erogenous zones or “hot spots” throughout our whole bodies… some in places you might not expect! An erogenous zone is a spot or area of your body that is highly sensitive, and when stimulated it can cause a sexually pleasurable sensation.
I believe it is important to explore your body sexually beyond just your genitals. Our body’s capacity for sexual pleasure is like a map of new places just waiting to be discovered.
Everybody’s pleasure is unique and individual. What zone and type of stimulation that works for some, might not work for others. Furthermore, one zone might feel sexy and nice to some but downright painful to others. This is where trying new things, and listening to your body comes in! The following is a starting point.. A compilation of ideas to explore if they feel right for you.
Pleasure in Unexpected Places
Try a combo of kisses, light touches, taps, or strokes in these places to see what areas light up for you!
2. Ear Lobes
3. Inner Thighs
10. Lower Back
Toys to Assist in your Exploration
Because humans love to categorize everything. Sex toys are often unnecessarily gendered or put into strict labeled categories. We think of them as “female toys” or “male toys” (newsflash: toys do not have genders!). What if I told you a pink handheld clitoral vibrator works wonderfully when used on the scrotum too? The truth is the best thing about incorporating toys into your sex life is you can get creative and the possibilities are endless. Here are some toys that are especially helpful in exploring new areas of your body…
Calexotics Slay me Line (thrill me, tickle me, entice me)
These are the perfect little vibrators to use to explore erogenous zones (genitals or otherwise)! They’re small, rechargeable, affordable and come in 6 different shapes! These three are my fav because they each offer a really unique sensation due to their shapes. Use them for nipples, thighs, balls, the perineum, and anywhere else that you find during your exploration!
These handheld suction toys come in three different sizes and offer a gentle, manual suction. They’re made for (and wonderful for) nipples.. but if you like the sensation of suction they can be applied to other erogenous zones as well :)
A classic sensation play tool is the Wartenberg Wheel - a small steel pinwheel with evenly spaced spikes that roll across the skin and tingle every nerve they touch. This tool was designed to test nerve reaction and sensitivity by Robert Wartenberg in the early 20th century.. But now it is commonly used for BDSM and kink play :) This small simple tool offers so much for exploration as it can be used all over your body and produce a different sensation when used on different areas. My favorite is to pair it with a blindfold and have your partner intermittently place it somewhere new on your body.
A super simple way to amp up the sensations you are playing with is to incorporate a blindfold! Blocking out one sense enhances all your other senses. It also can be applied if you are playing with any power dynamics!
Perhaps a gentler, softer version of the Wartenberg Wheel - a feather tickler can also be useful in exploring your body. Run it lightly over all your different areas for a soft stroke or tickling sensation.
The cultural messaging around sex (what sex looks like, feels like, what it involves) that most of us experience is LACKING in the diversity and limitless possibilities of pleasure. We forget about playing, discovering, and exploring all the areas of our sexual bodies. When we expand our ideas of sex beyond just “penis goes in vagina”.. We open ourselves up and gain access to so much more pleasure in our bodies.