Beginners Guide to Butt Stuff

By Jacee Niblett

It’s time we put away all the tired, negative notions attached to anal sex. Despite the stigmas, butt stuff is actually totally normal  and totally natural. Everyone has a butt! If you’re a human, anal sex is a fun and pleasurable experience available to you.


If you’ve ever been curious - but not sure where to start, here is our beginner's guide...



There are thousands of nerve endings sitting in the anus and the anal canal. More nerve endings = more opportunities for pleasure. For people with a prostate, that pleasure capacity is even larger! For people with vaginas, anal penetration can affect the pelvic floor muscles making orgasms stronger and more intense. There’s a world of pleasure in your butt just waiting to be discovered!


It’s worth mentioning here that if a little poop happens, it’s not a big deal! However, there are a few ways to help make butt stuff a little less messy and more enjoyable. We suggest going to the bathroom a couple hours before play time. Anal enemas are an option if you want a little extra peace of mind.

Relaxation is essential. The more anxious you feel, the more tense the muscles in your body will be. Make sure your body is fully aroused, turned on and ready before you insert anything.

It’s helpful to start with fingers to get used to the sensation before moving on to anything bigger.


Nothing is going to put a damper on this experience more so than trying to go into it dry. Your butt doesn’t produce its own lubrication, so a good anal lube is essential. If toys are involved, you’ll want to stick to a thick water-based lube. If you’re opting for skin on skin only, a silicone-based lube is a good option! As always, avoid oil-based lubes when using latex condoms as they will deteriorate the material and may lead to breakages.

Any water-based lube will eventually dry out and you may need to apply more. Silicone-based lube doesn’t absorb into your skin so a little bit goes a long way, but it will stain fabrics. Some anal lubes have ingredients like hemp seed oil or jojoba that can help relax the muscles. Steer clear of anything with lidocaine, benzocaine, or other numbing agents, as they  increase  the risk of injury and  decrease  the pleasurable sensations. Some of our favorite anal lubes at Excitement are..

  • Sliquid Sassy  (thick water-based)
  • Wicked Gel  (Jelly water-based)
  • Wicked Toy Love  (super thick water-based)
  • Behind by Pjur  (thick water-based)
  • Analyze me by Pjur  (water-based that doesn’t dry out)
  • Analyze me by Pjur  (silicone-based with jojoba)


Toys! Plugs! Beads! Dildos! Tails!

There are so many options for fun things to put in your butt! Here are a few we recommend for beginners…


Satisfyer Plugs

This set has three different beaded plugs that are perfect for fun, curious exploration! They are made of non porous silicone, and come in three different shapes. The beaded shapes give you the option to play with different sensations without committing to holding an entire plug. They’re also cheap! For only $21.99 you get three plugs!

Booty Call Booty Starter by Calexotics

Also made out of silicone, this small plug is slim and petite. It’s size and flexibility make it really comfortable for first timers. It can be really helpful in getting used to the sensation of having something in your butt. Try wearing it and pairing it with other types of stimulation!

Vedo Bump

This one is perfect if you want the added sensation of vibration! Stimulating those nerve endings with vibration is a really good way to relax the muscles and it feels amazing! It’s made with silicone and has a powerful rechargeable motor.


Key features to look for in a good anal toy are a flared base (to avoid anything slipping inside and getting stuck) and a bodysafe material (silicone, glass, steel).  Don’t forget that if you choose a silicone toy, you can’t use a silicone-based lube!  Make sure to stop into one of our locations so we can help you find the perfect toy to fit your specific needs.

Our biggest piece of advice is anal sex  should not hurt. Go slow and do what feels good. If it hurts, stop and regroup. Booty play can be such a fun, new experience to add to your pleasure. It can enhance other sensations, or be amazing all on its own!

Good luck and have so much fun!

First time shopping for toys?

  • RELAX! No need to panic or feel nervous - we're here to help and this should be fun!
  • GET READY TO LEARN. It's pretty common to see things we sell and be confused about how they're used - just ask us!
  • GIGGLES HAPPEN. We get it. You might be unable to control your laughter around all this sex stuff and some of it truly is funny. But please, refrain from outwardly mocking the items - A 3-foot-long dildo may seem ridiculous to you, but someone nearby may be seriously considering buying it and be discouraged or embarrassed if they hear you.
  • BE YOURSELF. Our staff is sex-positive and non-judgmental, so if you're into a unique kink, ask us about it politely and we'll do our best to help. 
    • One caveat - We are not here to be part of your fantasy or to be propositioned or solicited or disrespected. Our staff reserves the right to draw the line if they feel you are being inappropriate.
  • KNOW YOUR BODY. What gives you (or the recipient if it's a gift) the most pleasure? Do you like external play or penetrative play or both? What size, color, shape power intensity might work best? It's okay if you don't know, but if you do it will help us help you. 
  • GIVE US A BUDGET. Sex toy prices run the gamut from $5 to $500+ depending on the features, so if you only have $30 to spend, tell us and we'll help you find the best possible option within your price point.
  • DON'T FORGET LUBE AND CLEANER! Lube is more important than most people think, especially for toys. And proper care and cleaning is essential to avoid unwanted infections or irritation.
  • SATISFACTION GUARANTEED. We have an incredible exchange program, because we know that what works for one person, may not be perfect for someone else and you won't know until you put it against your body. So if you don't love your new toy, simply hold on to the package and receipt and bring it back to us within 15 days and we'll let you swap it out for something else. And no, we NEVER resell these items - we send them back to the manufacturer.

Toy Recommendations


We recommend certain toys/brands at Excitement because we believe in the quality of the materials or manufacturer. Specifically, we love non-porous materials like silicone, ABS plastic, glass and metal because of how easy it is to keep them clean and how long they last. Porous materials like TPE/TPR, jelly, rubber, "cyberskin" or other real-skin-feel items can feel wonderful and are often inexpensive, but they have the ability to hold on to bacteria in their pores so it's not possible to sterilize these toys and they should be limited to a single user, cleaned thoroughly before and after use and stored separately from other toys.  If you ever notice a change in color, shape, smell or texture, it's time to throw your toy out and replace (or upgrade!) it.


That being said, what's best for your body may be different than what's best for someone else, and if you have a toy material or style you love that's working for you, by all means, keep using it! If you notice any itching, burning or irritation though, discontinue use of your toy ASAP or try using it with a condom or a different lube. Don't give up on toys if the item you bought isn't doing it for you - utilize our exchange policy to try different brands or ask us for help. Listen to your body and go with what works best for you and your partner(s).



Want to learn more about toys? Come in and ask us or give us a call!